Self kindness instead of self punishment. We should all have less judgement and extend support to ourselves. Think about practicing self compassion as learning a new skill. The more you can be compassion with your self the more you can share this with others. Extending kindness toward our selves and acknowledging our feelings, will help you better understand yourself and you will become more resilient. Start by recognizing all the times you felt unloved. Journaling and meditation can help. If you are willing to try, this can also improve the relationships around you.